Overcoming Self Loathing

Why are some people full of self-loathing? The only reason I can think of is that they have been conditioned by their circumstances, their social situation, or the way in which they were raised. They may have listened to other people (or even their own minds) cut them down or say they aren’t good enough. Self-loathing may also be caused by comparing ourselves with others, or being envious of others. I think that most people have experienced some of these feelings to a greater or lesser extent, though we may not always remember them. The memories may be buried or they give a sense of peace or dejection, or they may even have happened in a previous life.

Some of us may even suffer from the illusion that we are better than others. For some reason, we enjoy cutting others down, and making them feel low and  less worthy. This may serve to make us feel that we are superior. But how do we reach the point of self-loathing if we feel superior to others?

I have a friend who has so much self-hatred that she is crippled emotionally and can barely function. She is a bundle of nerves, talks excessively, and is afraid of just about everything. Her biggest fear is of rejection and not respected. We have all experienced rejection in our lives, and we know that it doesn’t feel good. The problem arises when we identify with our bodies and minds, and therefore try to find love on a superficial level. Then, when we experience frustration due to lack of knowledge pertaining to our science of identity, we take antidepressants, or go to a psychiatrist—spending a lot of money talking to someone who really doesn’t care about us. And the only answer we get is: “You must relive the abuse you suffered, and then let it go. “What a crock! The psychiatrist doesn’t have any real answers—he just sees you as the next paycheck.

Insightful video on achieving Peace by Jagad Guru Siddhaswarupananda

It seems like an apparent contradiction to say we feel superior, yet we are full of self-loathing. We try to measure up to others’ standards, and fail. So, it is a matter of high, low, high, low. We keep trying to adjust to these factions that our minds are throwing at us and dealing with relative truths—while trying to make sense of everything. This usually ends up with a person being completely bewildered.

One day, when Thomas Edison was a young boy, he came home from school with a letter from the teacher. He told his mom, “This is a letter from my teacher, but she says that only you can read it.” His mother read the letter aloud: “Your son is exceptional, but we aren’t equipped to teach him, so you must teach him at home.” And so, Thomas Edison was home schooled, and went on to become one of the greatest inventors of the century. Years later, when Edison was leafing through an old photo album, he found the note that had been written so long ago by his teacher. What the letter actually said was: “Your son is mentally deficient. We cannot let him attend our school anymore. He is expelled.” Later he wrote in his diary: “Thomas A. Edison was a mentally deficient child whose mother turned him into the genius of the Century.”

We are constantly trying to pigeonhole people into a mental concoction of what we think they are, or should be. If we can’t compartmentalize them, we feel uncomfortable around them, because they don’t fit into a category. We must come to the realization that everyone is of the same caliber. Everyone who is in a body has the quality of life, which sets us apart from dead matter. Life is equal, so we are all equal. There is no inherently bad person. They may be making bad choices, or acting in a way that is not acceptable to you, but that really doesn’t matter in the entire scheme of things.

We need to realize that we are eternal spiritual souls, not these temporary bodies in which we are encaged. The true understanding can only come from if we come to a platform to understand the science of identity and goal of our lives based on that identity. We need to realize our true identity as God’s child, who is loved by Him unconditionally. We are all equal in the universe, and have our own specialness apart from everyone else.

We must get a perspective on the equality of all living entities on this planet. If we can understand that we are simultaneously one with every living entity, yet at the same time distinctly different and unique—then we can begin to see the commonality in the lives of ourselves and others, and see that we are all struggling with our own shortcomings, trials and tribulations or suffering. This in turn will be the start of us having some empathy, love and compassion for others.

How to End Racism and Bigotry video from Science of Identity Foundation

Hopefully, at the end of the day, a person will see their true identity as a shining spark of the Supreme Spark. When this is realized on a real level, not just theoretically, there will be no more self-loathing. If you want to learn a process for coming to understand this Absolute Truth, go to this website.

Learn more about yoga wisdom and enlightenment:


See some insightful videos from Science of Identity Foundation: